post- africa reflections

The day after I got back, it snowed. It was 100 degrees in Africa. And then I built snowmen two days later. Welcome home! It was the biggest snowstorm in years in NC- like 3 inches. The milk and the bread were MIA from Food Lion before the weather man even got the word "snow" out of his mouth. Why people in the south react to a snow forecast in this way, I will never understand.

The weather was, by no means, the biggest adjustment! I'd heard all about how difficult it was to come back home after a trip to a third world country, but it took me by surprise. It was difficult in different ways than I expected. It's not the kind of adjustment like when you come home from summer camp and go to bed crying because you're utterly exhausted and you miss your camp friends, and then you get up this next morning and eat blueberry waffles and wonder how you lived without them for the week. It's the kind where you sit around and you don't know what to do with yourself, so you look at pictures, email anyone who is still in Mozambique and convince them to tell you what's going on there, and re-evaluate the reason for your existence.

...So that's going well.

I know Africa is where I want to be full time some day, and I don't see that day as being too far off in the future. But I don't think I'm finished with things here yet. I'm SO psyched to see my friends back in Manhattan, and I'm feeling more motivated about auditions than I've felt for a long time. I even listened to musical theater cds just for fun today. What is happening to me?


A couple people asked if I would be continuing this blog after Africa, and I laughed...Because blogging is stupid. Because I hate anyone who is narcissistic enough to believe that other people actually get enjoyment out of reading her personal thoughts.
With that said, I'm totally continuing it.
But seriously, when I thought about it, I realized that my mindset of why I wouldn't be continuing my blog is the kind of mindset I'm struggling to keep myself from having every day. Which is that important things worth blogging about can only happen in Africa. Somehow, in my mind, anything I couple possibly find to do over here is minuscule to whatever great deeds I could be doing in Africa. Somewhere I get the idea that while I can bless people in a third world country, here I have to get back to reality and get a real job and focus on myself. And in some ways, here it's harder to keep my goal of "loving" first and foremost in my mind, just because everything about western society seems to work against that. Relationships aren't really valued here as much as careers and success and drive. They definitely weren't valued as much in my life before February. It's especially a challenging thing to keep in mind when the career you have chosen is the bloodbath that is Musical Theater in New York City.

ANYWAY. I might or might not actually find the time to keep up with this blog. But I hope I will be able to update it atleast occasionally, because a) I want to keep it up because I will be going to Africa again, hopefully before this year is over and b) I never consistently write in a real journal, so this is something concrete I will have to look back on in the future and c) Who knows, maybe I can take bits and pieces from it when I accomplish my dream (hopefully) off writing a book some day.

Please pray for the Iris Centre (where I was) in Zimpeto, Mozambique, as they had two armed robbers break in the other night and threaten a couple visitors and stole everything they had. These robbers are not new to Iris, because they visited several times while I was there. They only managed to steal my food and I never had an actual encounter with them. Also, one of the precious babies recently died. Please pray for the missionaries serving at Iris- that they will have a renewed hope and vision. Also pray for the poor visitors, who were (understandably) pretty badly shaken up!

ALSO- thoughts and prayers go out to my dear friend Nick Brady, who is serving in Columbia for 3 months! Check out his blog at http://singinggringoincolombia.blogspot.com

I'll let you know how jumping back into the bloodbath plays out.